The Long Island Crackle: Lost New York Migrants Mistaken for Grackles, Now Living It Up in Katy, Texas Parking Lots

By Becky McFeathers, Avian Affairs Correspondent

KATY, TX – Texans are no strangers to the sight of flocks of grackles loitering in parking lots, squawking loudly, and intimidating anyone brave enough to approach with a shopping cart. But recent reports suggest these feathered freeloaders aren’t grackles at all—they’re a much rarer species known as the Long Island Crackle, a bird that’s as lost as a New Yorker trying to navigate the bread aisle in H-E-B.

The Crackle, native to upstate New York, is a migratory bird that typically winters in Mexico. However, thanks to the endless glow of Texas parking lot lights, these confused creatures have accidentally set up camp in Katy, TX. “They were headed south for the winter but ended up in the H-E-B parking lot,” said local ornithologist Dr. Birdie Wingate. “Honestly, I can’t blame them. Have you seen how well-lit those lots are? It’s basically a runway for avian indecision.”

Not Your Average Grackle

While most Texans assumed the loud, obnoxious birds were their old nemeses, the common grackle, experts say the Long Island Crackle is a totally different beast. “The Crackle is bigger, louder, and significantly more pretentious,” said Dr. Wingate. “Grackles sound like they’re yelling at you. Long Island Crackles sound like they’re disappointed you bought the generic brand at H-E-B.”

Local birdwatchers have noted other key differences. “Grackles will eat anything—french fries, dog food, even gravel,” said amateur birder Karen Simmons. “But the Crackle? They only eat artisan baguette crumbs. I saw one reject a tortilla chip from the curbside pickup lot because it wasn’t organic. The nerve!”

Lights, Lots, and Long Island Logic

The Long Island Crackle’s arrival in Katy is a direct result of modern urban sprawl. The species relies on natural cues like moonlight to guide them on their migratory journey. Unfortunately, Texas parking lots—lit brighter than an H-E-B grand opening—have thrown the birds completely off course.

“Instead of flying south to Mexico, they thought the glowing oasis of H-E-B Plus was the promised land,” explained Dr. Wingate. “Now they’re nesting in the cart corrals and fighting over crumbs near the tortilla factory window.”

Locals have noticed the Crackles adopting human habits. “I saw one perched on the curbside sign,” said Katy resident Dale Winters. “It looked like it was waiting for someone to load groceries into its nest.”

A New Life in Katy

Rather than continue their migration, the Crackles have fully embraced their new Texan lifestyle. “They’ve adapted shockingly well,” said Dr. Wingate. “They’re bathing in puddles near the H-E-B car wash, stealing free samples from the bakery, and hanging out on the cafe patio like they own the place.”

Despite their noisy presence, some residents have grown fond of the Crackles. “They’re basically the New Yorkers of the bird world,” said Maria Gonzalez, a Katy resident. “Loud, pushy, and kind of rude, but you can’t help but admire their hustle. Besides, if they’re hanging out at H-E-B, they must have good taste.”

Not everyone is a fan, though. Local business owners near H-E-B have reported a spike in bird-related complaints. “They’re everywhere,” said Hank Johnson, manager of a Whataburger nearby. “They’re blocking the gas station pumps, swooping down on customers loading their bags, and squawking loudly enough to drown out the H-E-B radio jingle. It’s chaos.”

What’s Next for the Crackles?

Experts aren’t sure if the Long Island Crackles will ever resume their migration to Mexico. “Why would they leave?” asked Dr. Wingate. “H-E-B is a bird paradise. Endless food, shelter from the elements, and no predators except maybe a rogue employee with a broom. It’s everything they could ever want.”

In the meantime, Katy residents will have to get used to their new feathered neighbors. “They’re annoying, but at least they shop at H-E-B,” said Winters. “That’s more than I can say for those Dallas birds.”

As for the Crackles, they seem perfectly content in their adopted home. “We’ve lost them to the parking lots,” Dr. Wingate admitted. “They may never see Mexico, but at least they’ve found something all New Yorkers dream of—a place where the produce is fresh, the bread is warm, and the parking is free.”

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