Texas Bans Electric Cars, Citing Fears of “Electromagnetic Chaos”
- Chuck Torque
- Feb 11
- 2 min read
Updated: Feb 13
By Chuck Torque, Energy and Infrastructure Correspondent
In a controversial move, Texas lawmakers have officially banned the sale and registration of electric vehicles, claiming that the increasing number of EVs on the road could lead to “electromagnetic chaos” that might interfere with critical infrastructure and Texan lifestyles.
Governor Buck Forthwright announced the decision at the state capitol, surrounded by supporters holding signs that read “Keep Texas Magnetic” and “Oil Runs Through Our Veins.” “Electric vehicles are more than just cars,” the governor declared. “They’re giant electromagnetic pulse machines on wheels. We have to protect our great state from the unintended consequences of too much electric interference.”
The legislation, titled the “Electromagnetic Preservation Act”, claims that the cumulative effect of thousands of EVs could disrupt key systems, including traffic lights, Wi-Fi routers, and even the delicate radio waves used by Texas cattle ranchers to communicate with their livestock drones. A 400-page report by the state’s Department of Electromagnetic Integrity warns of a dystopian future where “electric cars dominate the landscape, sending electromagnetic ripples that could potentially desynchronize clocks and cause garage doors to open unpredictably.”
Supporters of the ban insist this is about safety. “Do you really want to risk your pacemaker malfunctioning because your neighbor bought a Tesla?” asked Rusty Longhorn, chair of the Texas Electromagnetic Safety Commission. “Oil-powered cars may pollute the air, but at least they won’t scramble your Fitbit.”
Critics, however, are skeptical. “There is no scientific evidence that electric vehicles cause electromagnetic disruption on this scale,” said Dr. Windy Breeze, a professor of renewable energy systems. “This is pure pseudoscience being used as a cover to protect the state’s oil industry.”
Environmental advocates are outraged, pointing out that Texas, one of the largest producers of wind and solar energy, is perfectly positioned to embrace EVs. “This isn’t about magnets or waves,” said Lisa Greenwell, spokesperson for Texans for Renewable Energy. “It’s about fearmongering and clinging to outdated industries. The only ‘chaos’ here is the one created by policymakers.”
Meanwhile, electric car manufacturers are scrambling to address the claims. Tesla has announced a new “Magnet Safe Mode” that supposedly neutralizes any electromagnetic interference from its vehicles, while Rivian jokingly unveiled a prototype equipped with a literal tinfoil hat on its roof.
The legislation has also sparked concerns among the growing number of Texans who already own electric vehicles. Marcus Feldman, a Houston resident who drives a Rivian, expressed his frustration: “I didn’t spend $80,000 on a truck just to be told it’s a walking EMP. If anything, the most chaotic thing about my car is trying to find a charging station.”
Despite the backlash, state officials appear determined to move forward. Governor Forthwright suggested that Texas drivers should focus on embracing traditional vehicles, saying, “Nothing beats the good old roar of a gas engine. It’s the sound of freedom—and, more importantly, it won’t mess with your microwave.”
As the ban takes effect, the future of electric vehicles in Texas remains uncertain. For now, it seems the state will continue to rely on its tried-and-true combination of oil, gas, and a hearty distrust of anything that plugs in.
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