President Trump Proposes “Kinder, Gentler” Deportation Plan—Involves Baby Trade Economy

In a move that has left the nation both bewildered and bemused, President Donald Trump, now in his second term, has unveiled a novel approach to immigration reform. Building upon his previous hardline stances, the President announced the “Children-for-Chores Initiative,” a program that, in his words, is “the most humane, tremendous solution to illegal immigration ever conceived.”

The “Generous” Offer

Under this initiative, undocumented immigrants apprehended at the U.S.-Mexico border are presented with a choice: immediate deportation or the opportunity to “contribute” to the American economy by selling their children to the government. These children would then be assigned to perform tasks that, as the President put it, “lazy Americans just don’t want to do.”

“It’s a beautiful deal,” President Trump proclaimed during a rally at his newly renovated Trump Tower in Houston. “These people come here with nothing, and I’m giving them a chance to have their kids work in the greatest country on Earth. And believe me, nobody loves children more than I do. Nobody.”

A Win-Win Scenario?

The administration argues that this plan addresses labor shortages in sectors such as agriculture, manufacturing, and domestic services. The children, referred to as “junior guest workers,” would receive “competitive” compensation, which the President assured would be “more than fair.”

“We’re talking about jobs that need to be done,” Trump stated. “And these kids, they’re hard workers. They’ll learn the value of a dollar, something many of our own kids could benefit from.”

Critics Speak Out

Unsurprisingly, the proposal has been met with widespread condemnation. Human rights organizations have labeled the initiative as “inhumane” and “exploitative.” Legal experts have also raised concerns about the constitutionality of such a program.

“This is nothing short of state-sanctioned child labor,” said Maria Lopez, a spokesperson for the Human Rights Watch. “It’s appalling that in 2025, we’re even discussing this.”

The President’s Rebuttal

In response to the backlash, President Trump took to social media, posting an AI-generated image with the caption, “F**k around, find out,” signaling his defiance against critics. 

“The fake news media and the radical left can say what they want,” Trump tweeted. “But this is a great plan. Everyone wins. And if you don’t like it, well, too bad.”

Looking Ahead

As the administration prepares to implement this controversial program, the nation watches with bated breath. Whether the “Children-for-Chores Initiative” will withstand legal challenges and public outcry remains to be seen. One thing is certain: in President Trump’s America, the art of the deal continues to surprise.

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