More Tolls Are Coming Across the USA, and You Can’t Stop Them
- Rick O’Shea
- Feb 1
- 1 min read
By Rick O’Shea | The Daily Throb
The American highway system is about to get a lot more expensive, and there’s nothing you can do about it. In a bold move to ensure that every stretch of road is monetized to the fullest, transportation officials across the country have announced an aggressive expansion of toll roads, promising to charge you for the privilege of sitting in traffic.
Experts say the move is necessary to fund infrastructure improvements, but skeptics argue that the only real improvement will be to the bank accounts of private toll operators. “The days of free roads are over,” said one anonymous source from the National Highway Fund. “Why should we let you drive for free when we can charge you every five miles?”
Texans are particularly concerned, as Houston alone is rumored to be getting toll booths on feeder roads and even neighborhood streets.
Drivers in Florida, meanwhile, are being introduced to a new “Sunshine Pass,” which automatically deducts fees every time motorists smile while driving. Meanwhile, California plans to install toll booths at every In-N-Out drive-thru, charging extra for “scenic burger enjoyment.”
Public outcry has been met with little sympathy. When asked if there was a way to stop the expansion of tolls, one government spokesperson simply laughed and said, “No.”
If there’s any silver lining, it’s that future generations won’t have to worry about this—because they won’t be able to afford cars anyway.
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